Say It
by Niki Bogwater
Summary: "'...She is a child. And she needs to hear you say it to believe it.'" Edward learns about a secret his daughter has been keeping from him, and begins to doubt himself as a father. EdWin family fluff. K Plus for mild language.


"...Mom?"

Winry quickly waded out of sleep to answer the call of her daughter. Rubbing her eye, she rolled over to face her, glancing at the clock beside the bed as she did so. Three-thirty am. She winced. Earlier than usual.

"You have another nightmare, baby?" she whispered, putting a hand out into the darkness to let her daughter grasp it. Trisha clutched it tightly, her knuckles white in the moonlight streaming through the open window. She nodded, tears pooling in her eyes as she chewed her lip nervously. "Okay. Come here. But try to be quiet, okay? Daddy has to get up early to catch a train to Central tomorrow." Scooting backwards as far as she could without disturbing Edward, Winry lifted up the sheet and patted the space next to her. As silently as the breeze rustling the curtains nearby, Trisha slipped into bed next to her, curling up close to her chest. Winry held her close in spite of the heat of the summer night, her chin resting against Trisha's soft golden hair as she stroked it gently. "You want to tell me about it?"

"I dreamt you and Al were getting on a train with Dad..." Trisha began, her voice muffled in the fabric of Winry's nightshirt. "And I knew something bad was going to happen, so I tried to stop you...But you got on anyways a-and...S-something bad happened..." She clenched her jaw, biting back a sob.

"Well..." Winry murmured. "I'm not going anywhere any time soon. And your brother is safe in his room down the hall. And your dad's going to be fine. He always is."

"...I know. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's okay to be scared. And it's okay to get help from me and Daddy, alright?" Trisha said nothing, but she bit her lip with a little more force. It was ridiculous. She was ten years old, now, and the daughter of the Fullmetal Alchemist. But every night, without fail, she had to run to her mommy because of the night terrors. Just like a little kid. It was pitiful.

"Don't tell Dad," she said again, as she did every night. Winry's brow furrowed, and she repeated her part of the ritual with as much concern in her voice as if it was the first time.

"He needs to know."

"He'll just be upset," Trisha pleaded softly, her fist clenching. "And...disappointed."

"Trisha, Daddy could _never_ be disappointed with you. He loves you too much for that."

"After going through what he did? How could he _not_ be?" Trisha hissed. "He went through Hell and back, and I can't even handle a bad dream."

"Watch your language," Winry warned. She paused when she felt Edward shift next to her, letting out a short sigh in his sleep. "We'll talk about this more tomorrow, okay?" she whispered.

"Okay."

Neither of them noticed Edward's fist clenching against the pillow.

* * *

"You got your oil?"

"Yes."

"And clean underwear?"

"Yes."

"And the apple pie?"

"Yes, Win, I have everything."

"Okay..." Winry relented with a little huff. There was an awkward pause.

"Winry..." Edward murmured after a moment. "I...I really don't think I should go right now."

Winry blinked.

"What?"

"I've...got more things to take care of around here first," he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding her gaze.

"Edward, what are you talking about?" she demanded, hands on her hips. "You _know_ Fuhrer Mustang has been waiting for you to deliver this alchemic report for months. There's nothing here at home that could be more important than that." She regarded him for a moment, and her expression softened at his downtrodden demeanor. "What's this all about?" she asked softly, taking his hand in both of hers and lacing their fingers together. He stared down at their clasped hands for a minute, chewing his lip. Finally, he looked up and met her gaze.

"Trisha," he said simply. Winry's eyes widened for a second. Then, with a groan, she closed them again, clutching Edward's hand tighter.

"...You weren't actually asleep last night, were you?"

"I...was," he fumbled. "But I woke up when she came in. Winry..." He looked at her with those big, golden puppy eyes, and she felt her heart tear to pieces. "...Why did she think I'd be disappointed in her?" Winry sighed heavily, and pursed her lips. Giving his hand a gentle tug, she led him over to the sofa, and sat down with him, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"Edward..." she began slowly. "You are...amazing. You've done so much and gained so little in return, and yet you never complain about it. You think I don't know that you still have nightmares just like Trisha does, but I've seen you tossing in your sleep." She felt him tense beneath her. "I know why you don't tell me," she said quickly. "I know you don't want me to worry. And...you don't want to disappoint me, right? You want so badly to be perfect, for me, for Al, for our kids...for everyone." She moved her free hand up to stroke his hair. "And that's one of the things I love about you. Trisha...Well, I think she's the same way. She's always been something of a perfectionist, even when she was little. And the person she's hardest on is always herself. Just like you."

"But she's...Win, she's just a kid," Edward said with frustration. "She should know that she can come to me with her problems. I'm her freaking _father,_ it's what I'm supposed to do!"

"Yeah," Winry agreed. "But you're more than just her dad. You're her hero. She wants to be... I think she wants to feel like she's _worthy_ of your love and admiration, and not just because she's your daughter."

"She was born. She's already worthy," he insisted, raking his fingers through his bangs, his grip on her hand tightening.

"That's what I keep telling her, but... Well, she's stubborn just like you, too." Another pause. Edward rested his head against hers, closing his eyes and biting his lip nervously.

"Winry..." he said after a moment. "I'm scared."

"Of what?" she asked gently.

"I'm scared that I've done something to make her feel like this, and I...I don't think I could handle knowing that I've hurt her so deeply."

"Oh, Ed..." she sighed, pressing a kiss to his temple. "Believe me, you've been the best dad our kids could ask for."

"If I was, she wouldn't have this problem," he insisted. He leaned back against the couch cushions with a little whine. "What am I gonna do?"

"I think..." Winry began, her hands coming up to straighten his collar. "I think you should find her and let her know that you love her. And I don't just mean by spending time with her or showering her with favors." She redid a few mismatched buttons as she spoke. "I mean _tell_ her. I know it's hard for you to talk about how you feel, but...as you said, she is a child. And she needs to hear you say it to believe it." She leaned forward and kissed his forehead, brushing his bangs out of his eyes. "Now...are you going to catch that train to Central, or not?"

* * *

Trisha was with her brother in the workshop, staring over his shoulder with wide, curious eyes as he carefully welded two automail joints together. Al had taken quite a shine to automail engineering, ever since he was little, and when he wasn't eating or sleeping, he was usually down here, drawing up new blueprints or tinkering with some of Winry's scrapped projects.

"What's that gonna be?" she asked.

"I think it's going to be an arm," Al said, taking a screwdriver out from between his teeth and tightening a bolt.

"It looks like a stick," his sister informed him.

"I'm doing my best, here, okay?" he snapped, throwing her a glare. She snickered behind her hand. She always sounded like Edward whenever she laughed, particularly if it was at her older brother's expense. "If you think you can do something better, Alchemy Freak," he continued, turning back to his work. "be my guest." She stuck her tongue out at him in response.

"You know Mom and Dad won't let me use Alchemy in the house. Besides, I wasn't _saying_ I could do better. I was merely pointing out that it looks like-"

"-a stick," Al finished with a huff. "It won't look like this once it's finished."

"We'll seeeeeeeee," Trisha responded in a sing-song voice. She cackled merrily as Al swung around and pretended to throw his wrench at her.

"Careful there, kiddos. We only need one person in this house to suffer blunt force trauma, and I already qualified for the position."

"Dad!" Both children spun around to find their father leaning against the door frame, watching them with a crooked grin.

"Aren't you supposed to be in Central?" Al asked, wiping some oil off his hands with a rag.

"I had some things here at home that I needed to take care of," Edward answered vaguely. He sauntered across the room, his big coat swishing with a comforting sound, and peered over Al's shoulder at his work. "Wow, Al, you've got the makings of a really great...uh..."

"Stick," Trisha put in, grinning maliciously at her brother when he threw her another look.

"It's _going_ to be an _arm,_ " he announced. "This is just going to be the rod at the core."

"Well, whatever it is, it looks great," Edward told him, ruffling his golden hair fondly. "You keep making stuff like this, and someday you'll be just as good as Mom."

"Yeah, right..." he scoffed, but his cheeks went pink, and he looked pleased in spite of himself.

"Trisha," Edward continued, turning towards her. "I'd like to talk with you about something. Think you can spare your sister, Al?"

"Hey, take her. And make sure whatever punishment she gets involves lots of vegetables." He smiled victoriously at her, and she bit her lip angrily.

"You're not in any trouble," Edward reassured her quickly. "There's just something I want to discuss."

"Oh...okay," she said slowly. She followed him out the door, glancing back at her brother nervously, who merely shrugged in response. Edward led her upstairs to her parents room and closed the door behind them, before taking off his coat and throwing it carelessly across the bed.

"C'mere," he said softly, sitting down on the bed and patting the spot next to him. Trisha nervously obeyed, wringing her hands in her lap and staring up at him with worried eyes. Edward swallowed, unsure of where to begin.

"Trisha..." he started, eyes darting around the room in search of something he couldn't see. "There's...something bothering you, isn't there?" He heard her breath hitch and finally let his gaze rest on her again.

"...No. I mean, Al bothers me sometimes, but that's normal." Edward's heart sank as she easily lied to him.

"Trisha," he repeated, swallowing hard. "I...I..." _She is a child. And she needs to hear you say it to believe it._ Winry's words echoed loudly in his head. He took a deep breath and screwed his eyes shut, before awkwardly spitting it out: "I love you."

"Um...I love you too...?" Trisha answered hesitantly, clearly confused by his behavior. "But where is this all coming from?"

"Honey," he tried again, hoping that pet names might ease some of the tension. He laid a hand on her shoulder, and looked her squarely in the eye. "I know about your nightmares." For a brief moment, she froze, completely unmoving, her expression unchanged. Then she lowered her gaze down to her lap, and wrung her hands a little more fiercely.

"...Oh," she said at last. There was a pause as Edward frantically hunted for more words to say. Suddenly, her head shot up again, and she looked at him with horror. "Did Mom tell you?!" she demanded, her voice rising a bit with anger and betrayal.

"No, Trish. Mom kept your secret for you. I found out about it on my own...last night."

"You...weren't asleep?" she squeaked, looking no less horrified. He nodded slowly. She groaned and let her head drop into her hands. "I'm _so_ sorry, Dad!" she whimpered, her voice slightly muffled. "I never meant for you to find out about that."

"Trisha, I'm not talking about the nightmares themselves," he said quickly. "I'm talking about you not telling me about them." His voice shook a little, and he swallowed to steady it. His palms were sweating and his hair was sticking to the back of his neck. He'd never had to do this sort of thing with his kids before, and he was just waiting for the moment when he'd screw something up and it would all come crashing down around him. "Why did you keep it a secret from me?"

"B-because you're...you!" she fumbled, tears pooling in her eyes. "You're strong, and smart, and brave, and perfect, and if you knew that your own daughter couldn't even make it through the night by herself, then I thought...I thought..." She trailed off, biting down on her lip, as though she were afraid to say it. "...I thought you'd be disappointed."

"Trisha..." Edward murmured. He felt agony squeeze his heart, and it left him breathless for a minute.

"I mean, this isn't anything big," she continued, her voice going even higher and becoming even more desperate. "Nobody's...died or anything, it's just dreams."

"This _is_ big to _me,_ " Edward shot back, a little more aggressively than he had initially intended. "Because it's happening to _you._ " He put both hands on her shoulders and forced her to look at him. "Trish, if there's something wrong, I _need_ to know about it so I can fix it."

"You can't fix this, Dad," she said softly.

"I can sure as hell _try!_ " Trisha looked at him with a mixture of horror and admiration. "...Sorry," he said quickly. "I...can sure as _heck_ try." She smiled a little, bringing a hand up to hide it. It was a good thing her mother didn't hear that. "Sweetie," Edward began again. "Even if you have a problem I can't fix, I want to know about it so I can help you. It's...what I'm here for. And I..." He breathed in deeply, steadying himself. "...I could never, _ever_ be disappointed in you. I love you." It came out a bit easier the second time, and sounded more sincere. She stared at him blankly, maintaining a frustratingly stoic facade as she contemplated what he had just said. He swallowed again, sweat running down the side of his face in a little river. Now for the big question.

"...Did I do something to make you feel like this?" he breathed. To his utter relief, Trisha's facade immediately crumbled, and she looked at him like he'd grown a second head.

" _No,_ " she said firmly, and to his surprise, she threw her arms around his shoulders, burying her face in his chest. "Don't think like that, Daddy," she mumbled into his shirt. She sounded so much like Winry in that moment, Edward felt his heart swell with pride, in spite of the awkward position. He cautiously put his arms around her slim frame. Funny. He hadn't noticed how much she had grown until now.

"So...are you done keeping secrets from me?" he asked, smiling a little as her golden hair tickled his chin. He felt her nod slowly against his chest. "And if you have another bad dream, you'll come to me about it?" Another nod, perhaps a little more hesitant than he would have liked, but still a nod. "Okay, then..." He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and released her, surprised to find her rubbing away tears. She hopped off the bed and skipped out of the room as though nothing had happened, flashing him a quick smile over her shoulder. Winry passed her in the hallway, and watched her bound downstairs to torment her brother some more.

"Was that so bad?" she asked, coming into the bedroom where Edward still sat motionless on the bed, trying to comprehend everything that had just happened. He looked up at her, and grinned in relief, opening his arms as she settled on his lap.

"No, not really..." he admitted. "Actually, it was kind of easy once I stopped being such a wimp."

"Does that mean you're gonna say it more?" Winry asked, resting her forehead against his. His smile widened, and without a word, he leaned in and closed the gap. Winry let her eyes slide closed as her lips met his, and she cradled his head in her hands as he pulled her closer. When they parted after a moment, he looked up at her with half-lidded eyes, that goofy grin still on his face.

"I love you," he said matter-of-factly, brushing her nose with his.

"I love you too, dork."

* * *

"Dad...?" Edward snorted softly as he jerked awake, blearily searching his dark surroundings to find the source of the noise. Trisha was standing by his side of the bed, her hair damp with sweat, twisting the hem of her nightshirt in her hands. "I know you're gonna catch the early train to Central tomorrow, but I-"

"C'mere," he interjected, pulling her down beside him. "You wanna tell me about it?"

There was only a brief moment of hesitance before he felt her nod against his shoulder.

* * *

 **A/N: Okay, so my sincere apologies if anyone seemed OOC. I did my best. :P This is actually inspired by real-life issues that I've had to deal with, and I'm pretty happy with how it came out. Daddy Ed is the Cutest Ed. :3**

 **Ciao!**

 **NikiBogwater**


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